One of the questions that we sometimes receive in our mailbox and over at the ThailandQA.com forums is this one: “How do Thai people celebrate their birthdays?” Well, they don’t often celebrate in the way that we do in the West. This often means no cake, no presents and no party for your friends if you are a child. Birthdays are not usually marked in the same way here as we did with birthday parties when we were younger. When I first came to Thailand I noted that many of my students didn’t receive any presents from their parents. They didn’t even get a cake. If they did get something, it would be a book or something equally unimaginative. But, it is not always like that. Thai people like adopting traditions from other cultures. Christmas is a good example of this. Thai children have seen Western movies and have seen what happens during our birthdays. So, they want the same too. Now more of my students receive presents from their parents than before. Some of them also have cakes. Though, they usually only get one candle. Or, if they have just turned say ten, they will then get eleven candles.
Thai adults might have a party for their friends. Though I know quite a few Thai people who never celebrate their birthday. They don’t do anything special. Either they don’t have enough money or they are just not motivated. One interesting difference with these parties is that the “birthday boy” is expected to pay for all the drinks. I have even been to parties in Thailand where all the guests received presents! On Nong Grace’s birthday today, she came to school with cake and candy for all her friends! For older people, they are more likely to celebrate the 12 year cycles. For example, on their 60th and 72nd birthdays. If you have a Thai friend who is going to celebrate a birthday then it won’t hurt for you to buy them a gift. They will certainly appreciate it. But, it is not really expected. So, how do Thai people traditionally celebrate their birthdays? What they do is make merit by going to the temple early in the morning and offer food to the monks. This morning was the 53rd birthday of my school. We celebrated by inviting several dozen monks and everyone came early to school to offer them food and other basic essentials.
The following is some feedback from visitors to our website on this subject:
Oakmonster (a Thai woman): When I was a kid, the traditions went like this: Very early in the morning, we went to see my grandmother to ask for her blessing, then piled onto the car to Wat Benjamabopitr to give alms to the monks and released the birds/turtles. Then I got dropped off at school with a pass from my parents to be late AND to bring in treats for my classmates. Later that night, we’d have dinner with my family and then my cousins and grandma would come over and we’d have cake and open presents. As we grew older, we lost grandma and my cousins moved away, and then the traffic got so bad that going to Wat Benj became a half day effort, so our birthdays were reduced to just dinner with family and maybe a few presents, usually from my mom’s friends. Birthdays have been more of a family affair for our family. There were only a few birthday parties where friends were involved that I could remember. Heck, I didn’t have a party for friends until I was in 5th grade…which I did at McDonald’s. LOL. One thing that seems to be consistent though is that we celebrate birthday by TREATING OTHER PEOPLE i.e. have a party so you can feed your friends, not for them to feed you.
Betti (a foreign teacher): Most of my kids bring a large cake to school to share with everyone. One of those Thai style cakes that taste like shaving cream and plastic. But at least they look good and make good photos. Some parents leave a camera and ask teachers to take some photos for them. We always put one extra candle “for good luck next year”. These kids are upper-middle class, most have Thai parents who speak little English and have never been to the “west”.
Thanks for this interesting post! I know that in South Korea too, the birthday person treats his/her friends. Maybe it’s an Asian thing, lol.
my thai wife always cooks food to take to work for friends & colleagues on HER bithday.On my birthday she cooks food for me to take to work & share.
after i have read this paragraph so i really interested about Thai couture and i proud everything there !
Sir, I really really enjoy your website and comments. I just married a wonderful Thai woman. I am 58 and she is 45, both of us married before; her to a Thai man for 15 years having two boys and me a korean woman 37 years and two boys. Her father is still alive, bless his heart, and i am crazy about her family and they seem to all like me alot also. My question is: How close should I get to her father, I am American from south texas and we tend to take and hold our older family members alot. I hold his hand and help him walking across the yard, etc. He really enjoys it, but is it correct to do? He tells his daughter, my wife, I am the only one in the family that holds and touches him, he said not even his sons and daughters do that. He loves it, I am just not sure its the right thing to do.
PS I have many many questions. thanks for your time, glenn
why is it deemed and improvement for Thai people to adopt western ways ? The commercial driven celebrations are not a better way to do things. Having seen and being exposed to western ways is more of an opportunity to educate the children about being proud of their own culture and showing them how to disern weather comercials and t.v. movies really represent weather things are true or not. They are not short of enjoyment and celebrations … in their own culture .