Can you remember your first day at school? Can you remember how you felt when you first stepped in to your new classroom? If you can, you will know how I felt when I started my new life at BBC or Bangkok Business College. I remembered that day very well. It is the day that I started to grown up a little more and be more mature. I was very excited, also a little nervous and scared about my new life there in the big city. A place with lots of temptations.

At 4.30 a.m. my alarm clock rang loudly and woke me up. I grabbed my towel and went straight down to the bathroom to take a shower. I spent quite a long time there doing lots of things like washing my hair, brushing my teeth, washing my face etc. It was just because I wanted myself to look good when I went to my new college. After spending about 45 minutes in the bathroom, I went to get my uniform, necktie and belt from upstairs. I took them downstairs and put them on. The uniform is all white so I have to be careful when I wear it. The uniform looks like a suit except that there is no jacket. After I had put the uniform on, I started to do my necktie. It wasn’t that easy for me to do as I have never worn one before. I spent like 20 minutes just trying to do it up! I buttoned up all the buttons, then sprayed some perfume on my shirt and body and combed my hair. After that I went to put on my black socks and my shiny black shoes and left the house to go to meet my friends at the bus stop which is only one bus stop away.

I walked to the bus stop by my house to catch the bus to go to meet my friends. Really I didn’t need to get on the bus to go there, I could have walked there if I wanted to but I didn’t. I was too worried about getting hot and sweaty while I walked there. Also, I was a bit worried that the uniform might get dirty while I was walking beside the road to go there. While I was walking to the bus stop, I had a feeling that lots of people were staring at me or maybe my uniform. I was a bit shy but I just kept walking as usual. I knew that if I acted normally, then they wouldn’t say anything. I said to myself, “Ignore them, don’t worry you are cool. Just be yourself and have self-confidence, they just haven‘t seen this uniform often”. I stood and waited for the bus and got on when it came.

A few minutes later I got off the bus and looked at the time on my mobile phone. It was about six o’clock then. As I was getting off, I saw two of my friends, Boat and Not, waiting for me. I said “hi” to them and asked them how long had they been waiting? They said they just arrived here about five minutes ago. I told them about people looking at me. They said they got the same thing too since they left home. We were there waiting for another friend, Wat, for about ten minutes but he still hadn’t come so Not rang him. He told Not that he was getting dressed and will be leaving soon, so Not told him to be quick. Not also told him to take his car, and not come by bus because we were nearly late already and we will be late for sure if he came here by bus. They finished talking and then hung up the phone. About Wat’s car, we had agreed before not to drive it to college because it cost quite a lot more than the bus.

About 6.30 a.m., Wat arrived. We quickly got in the car and shared some money for the petrol, express-way and parking. We stopped at the petrol station first to fill up the petrol and then we went to college. Wat drove as fast as he could but the traffic was pretty bad so we couldn’t go that fast but at least we were going a lot faster than a bus.

We arrived at the college in plenty of time for the first lesson at 7.30 a.m. so then we didn’t need to rush anymore. We went to park the car at a place called “Hollywood” which is not that far from the college. Wat parked the car and then we started to make up our face and dress up our uniform. Not took some talcum powder and a comb out of the glove compartment and gave it to us. We all used them to make up our face. We needed to look both cute and smart when we got in the college. First impressions are very important when there are girls around.

After we had finished that, we walked to the college, to the building where we would learn. Boat went to a different building because he is in the second year but really we are all the same age. Not and I, we are in the same classroom, also our student’s numbers are close to each other, his one is 41 and mine is 42. Wat is in the different classroom but we are in the same floor so we went in the building together. We went to our classroom to meet our classmates and classroom teacher.

The classroom has two air-conditioners with two rows of long white desks. There are four students on each desk and everyone sat by their student number. There are 46 students in our class, 14 boys and 32 girls. Not and I sat right at the back. We really like it because there is some space at the back for us to nap or stretch our legs. Also, we are sitting under the air-conditioner so it is not too cold or too hot for us. In one day, we learn three subjects: two periods per subject and a break at 10.30 a.m. until 11 o’clock and finish at 12.30 p.m.

On that first day, there weren’t any teachers teaching at all. They mostly let the students make friends and get to know each other. Not and I made lots of new friends in the class. We now know every boy in the class and some of the girls too.

During the break time, Not and I went to meet up with Wat and we went to eat together. While we were eating, some boys in my class and Wat’s class came and joined us. We were chatting about our background until it was time to go back to the classroom.

When college finished at 12.30 p.m., Not and I went to meet up with Wat and then we went to meet Boat outside. We walked out of the college to the main road. There we saw lots of older students standing by the road. Boat told me that they were waiting to see the new cute girls in the first year. We walked to the car and talked about where to go next. I told them that I needed to go back to work and teach so I would go back first. Not and Wat said they wanted to go to play snooker and have a drink. Boat didn’t mind about that. I said “bye” to them and got on the bus to go back. I really wanted to hang out with them but I couldn‘t. I have got lots of work to do and on Mondays and Thursdays I have to come back to teach at 3.45 p.m. I am quite jealous of them, they don’t need to go back straight after college every day the same as me.

Today was really a good day. I have got lots of new friends in my year plus I got to know some people from the older year. I think this is the place for me to enjoy my learning. Luckily, most people here are friendly. I am happy to learn here and will be happier if I can spend some time hanging out with my friends after school. But I know that I can’t. My parents aren’t rich like their parents. Also, I am not really that kind of teenager anymore. I am a working man now. I am working seven days a week and there is no time to play around or throw money around. I wish I could hang out with my friends and get to be a real full member of a gang but I can’t. While they are going out to have fun in the car after learning, I will always be alone on the crowded bus on the way back to work. I am starting to be scared that I won’t be able to chat with them like I did before. Now, when they are talking about this and that, I always keep quiet and listen to what they say. I know that I might be more mature than them because I have my own business and responsibilities but I don’t think they will understand that. I wish I could talk to them like I used to do in the past even if I need to come back to work straight after school.

---------------------------------------------------------
This is the uncut version of Panrit's article that first appeared in his Gor's World column in the Bangkok Post when he was 16 years old. We will be posting his full versions every Sunday for him while he is still in prison. Read more about Gor at his website www.ThailandLife.com.